Black Woman, Love Yourself

Love thyself
Love thyself

And yes, I speak of the black woman.

I speak of the black woman, because she is oft at the bottom of the food chain.
I speak of the black woman, because she is constantly in question.
I speak of the black woman, because I am she.

The realisation that hit me is that when all is said and done, if we don’t love or care for ourselves, who will?

When I say ‘love thyself’, exactly what am I talking about?

Embracing oneself and genuinely taking time out to be one with yourself. Taking a moment to take care of you FOR you. Whether it be a long bath, reading a book, meditating on the Word, praying, going for a jog, writing, getting your hair did or getting dolled up to take yourself out for a date.

I recently read an article that spoke on the life of creatives and the need to replenish the creative bank. I think we could all take away something from it, creative or not. Taking time out to replenish the ‘me’ bank.

I think most modern black women can resonate with it to be honest. Especially historically where we come from, a woman’s role was so often about doing without feeding the spirit. Today, the duties may have shifted but the concept still remains the same. We’re so busy serving, cleaning, cooking, obeying protocol, giving life, taking care of bills, appeasing others, praying for others, mothering others – the list goes on – that we forget to get busy with us. One of my greatest fears is to look back and wonder what I did with my life in spite of all the hecticness.

Lately this has been on my mind. The being busy syndrome we tend to have without really focusing on what it is we want to do for us in order to progress, grow and to be at a place of peace, calm and joy.

I think sometimes we put too much pressure on others loving us, and when that love doesn’t seem to be flowing through, we feel that we are somewhat failing at life. The responsibility of being and feeling loved, at the end of the day, lies with us as individuals. Not in a self-conceited, vain and inconsiderate way. No. In the way that God calls us to love our neighbours as ourselves. We’ve heard it said time and again – “how can we expect to love others if we cannot love ourselves”?

I come from a place where sometimes I’m so caught up in doing, I often forget about being. So this is a lesson I am really trying to learn and embrace.

“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.”

-Rudy Francisco


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