Diary Of A Sad Black Woman

All we want to do is get married. That is our sole purpose here on earth. At least that’s what we’re told.

We grow up on fairy tales. Prince charming will come and rescue us from the lonely tower of singlehood. At least that’s what we’re shown.


Our purpose is to be a glamourised slave for our families. Cooking and cleaning, being at their every beck and call. We were born to be the perfect wife who always looks perfectly happy raising her perfect little children. At least that’s what we’ve read.

Who came up with this stuff?

The most annoying part is probably the men who think they’ve figured out everything about women. That a woman’s sole purpose and desire in life is for a man to ‘Put A Ring On It‘. I beg your pardon?

The saddest part is when I see my sisters who buy this dream that is sold with all their being. Who search high and low for a man, holding onto him for dear life in the hopes that he will pop the question, disregarding his – I don’t know – lack of a moral compass, genuine concern, loyalty, or interest in a future together with her. I cannot pass all the blame on these sisters of mine – the dream is being sold at every wedding store, kitchen tea party, magazine rack, movie theatre and family gathering.

So do we not want to get married? That too is incorrect. Of course there are many women who want to get married. Myself included. There are also many women who don’t want to get married. My point is, it is not our reason for existence, nor should it be.

Our purpose here on earth is to live for God. Men, women, young and old. I have come to understand that. We are here to fulfil the purpose He has for us in our lives whether it be working in the corporate world, at our local church, running an outreach programme or business; or being a stay-at-home mum.

That is what we ought to live for. For marriage, as I recently learnt from Pastor Myron Edmonds, is not about happiness. Marriage is about holiness. It is a ministry and should help you in your journey to heaven.

So sorry to burst your bubble. There is so much more to women than fashion, tea parties, wedding planning and making babies. We’re here on earth to live, learn and lead. Allow us please.

“So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31


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